Bastard
by alli-sun
Summary: Hermione witnesses a verbal bout between Slytherin's Dragon and Gryffindor's Favorite Redhead, and finds it terribly amusing.


**Bastard**

**Summary:** Hermione witnesses a verbal bout between Slytherin's Dragon and Gryffindor's Favorite Redhead, and finds it terribly amusing.

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It would have been a lovely afternoon of studying with the Golden Boy and his faithful sidekick, as usual. A little trouble with homework here and there, but I could always lend a helping hand. However, when Harry was called away (I believe that Creevey had gotten a hold of his owl) it left Ron and I in a crowded library which could not seat a bored-looking Draco Malfoy anywhere.

Anywhere, sadly, but Harry's abandoned seat.

And after trying my very hardest to study, I gave up. Yes, I, Hermione Granger, little-miss-know-it-all, gave up on studying and watched in light amusement as Ron and Malfoy glared and insulted each other. Though tension was thick enough to hold Hagrid on water, it became terribly funny to listen in on their conversation.

"You're a bastard."

"My parents are married, Weasel."

"That doesn't stop from making you a bastard."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"You're a bloody git."

"Ah, but if you look it up, you'll find that the definition to bastard is 'born of unwed parents', therefore I am _not_ a bastard."

"You're an idiot."

"You don't know the definition of a simple word and got a four D's in a row this week, yet you're the one who's calling me an idiot."

"Since when did you make it your business to snoop around other people's grades?"

"You mean you actually got four D's in a row? I was only guessing."

Pause.

"You're a bastard."

"Do we have to go through this again?"

"Fine, your parents are evil and stuck-up."

"At least they're not multiplying like rabbits. How many siblings have you got now, around twenty or thirty?"

"No I do not bloody have twenty or thirty siblings!"

"Forty?"

"For your information, I've got one sister and five brothers, so stuff it you slimy git."

Oh, can't you hear the love going around? Considering how much they argue, I've always thought that they sounded like a married couple, and I made the mistake of pointing this out.

"Hermione, how could you possibly say that? I thought you were smart!"

"Ha! Mudblood's not a genius after all! I hope the rest of your sorry house doesn't fall apart hearing that, they're a mess as it is."

"I told you to stuff it, Malfoy. You're acting as if her calling us married is okay!"

"I can't even stand in the same room with you without holding my nose from the stink. Do you actually think that I'd enjoy being married to a blood traitor like you?"

This sounded as if he would actually marry Ron if he didn't hang around with Harry and I, so I asked Malfoy if he found him attractive. Another mistake.

"Shut your mouth, you filthy little mudblood."

"Don't call her that!"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I'll cut that tongue of yours off so nobody will ever have to listen to you ever again!"

Violence is something I usually try to avoid (usually being the key word, I had every right to slap Malfoy in third year) so I gathered my things and dodged a quill thrown here and there and strode in a convincingly calm way towards the exit. As soon as I was out of their sight, I swiftly turned back and hid behind a bookshelf.

"So, bite off my tongue with what?"

A rustle of papers, a chair being knocked down, and graphic sounds that should not be mentioned in a story of this rating.

"That answer your question?"

"Shut up and keep going."

I smirked as the memory of the bet Harry and I had made a week ago came to my mind. Knowing that he owed me five Galleons made up for the lost time studying. As I made a real exit, I could hear Ron's annoyed voice.

"Stupid bastard."

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AN- So, what do you guys think? Please review, and review on my other stories, too, or else NO UPDATES!

12/28/06 – I updated it, I edited it, and I'm very happy with it. And I am disgraced that I would have written such a…brainwashed and typical A/N of a fangirl. I suppose that's what you could call me, because I am a fan and I am a girl, but I would not like to be mistaken as overly eager to receive reviews.

Though you should review.

Love and kisses.

Comfort and Joy. n-n


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